stanford and now, london: 0 to 1

December 31, 2020

OK I get a lot of the sentiments about how 2020 was a total washout, should never be remembered or ought to be part of an overall selective amnesia in our history. There are many who have suffered - directly through illness or losing loved ones, or indirectly in stress and worry, in losing jobs and so on. And those of us who have not suffered as much, or even at all (for those used to living life as a loner), should not make light of it. I have been through some tough moments here, and it has given me some real insight and empathy for those who feel the pain of loneliness, the lack of a kind word, even a friendly pat on the back or arm which we may have thought nothing of previously.

What has gotten me through is turning to God, reading His Word regularly and remembering that the best remedy is to seek His guidance. The breakthrough that came to me was nothing new. Love others. Isn't it amazing how we spend so much time analysing and over-analysing our problems, seeking relief through focusing on our own pleasures, when the real solution is to focus on others?

Which is a rather long-winded way of saying that even in a bad year like 2020, there are things we can be positive about (hopefully not test results heh) and there are opportunities to do good work to glorify God. Helping others - which is why I gave you guys the money to do some good. I thought it would be a good way to shape the way you think about being blessed and how to bless others. Of course it isn't the only way. There is no need to do big things, or make grand gestures. Sometimes just being available is enough.

Like when I asked my boss if there was anything I could help with during those months when I was stuck at home. Quite similar to what I am going through now, come to think of it. It is easy to take the easy way out and just sit at home doing nothing but it does not feel right. I think that moment was really God's way of giving me an opportunity to glorify Him. I was prompted to raise my hand to say, "What can I do to help?" And God did the rest. All the work I had done in previous years (the stint with MOM etc) had led to that moment - and He had provided for me in those years as well, when I earned the trust of those who now felt I could help.

It is important to earn trust. Even when I was first back home and told not to return to London, I made sure that I fulfilled my responsibilities. I was an officer representing the country and answered (partly) to the head of mission, and if I was not going back to London for any extended period, I had to keep her informed and seek her agreement. This was before my assignment with MOM, and in the early days of the pandemic, the mission was under strain as there would be many Singaporeans overseas who would need help, and for a small mission in a popular destination like London, it was all hands on deck.

I was transparent and told her what my boss wanted, which was to stay put in Singapore as a backup, but I also said I knew the mission needed all available manpower and if I was required to go back, I would not hesitate. The head of mission really appreciated my gesture (especially when others affiliated to the mission had simply left for home without notifying them - my case was slightly different as I was home on leave when the pandemic began) but respected my boss' wishes and just asked that we write in officially.

There are still some 17 months to go before my posting ends, but I miss you guys and I suppose it is a sign that I can't wait to come home when I am already thinking about the end of the posting. I hope the time will pass uneventfully and the world comes back to something close to normal, whatever it is going to look like.

So it's New Year's Eve, and I thought it would be good to take a walk to wrap up the year. It seemed quite appropriate that at the part of the day when I decided to go for a walk, the temperature edged upward from 0 degrees to 1 degree - 2020 to 2021 get it?

Many people were out and about, though fewer than I expected. It does seem to me that there are still tourists arriving in the country. I guess if there are no restrictions on going home after that, people would still take a chance to come, even though most places are not even open. But it does offer a chance to see London for instance, in a way you would not get any other time in history. On a more general note, my time here has given me an insight into the country, into Western culture during a particularly stressful time and what lessons there might be. More on that another time.