Blessings

Sleeping without pain... Being able to get out of bed normally (almost) without needing to find some kind of strange gymnastic move that does not aggravate my backache (The move in question involves rolling slowly over and sort of half dropping from the bed) These are things we take for granted when we are blessed with good health.

I had finally achieved it.  The most unglamorous way to get a back injury.  Sneezing.  I first heard of this urban myth from the doctor when I first had my (suspected) slipped disc.  I laughed at the time, though not too hard, seeing as I was almost doubled over in pain.  I mean, I knew how explosive a sneeze could be, but to cause a back injury?  Come on...

So this week, I think I probably strained my back a little playing golf, and had been using my electrical stimulus machine to relieve the slight ache, and also get a massage and it had been going well.  Until I felt the sneeze coming and I realised there and then, 'Oh no, this is going to happen...'  I didn't know how I could have lessened the effect.   Maybe I should have braced myself against a wall or something.

This latest episode (I think I've had at least 4 previous episodes in which the back injury was bad enough to sideline me) made me think again how we should respond when we are faced with such incidents in our lives.  Not comparing myself with Job who obviously had it much worse (and clearly a role model when it comes to faith), but there are good lessons in how he continued to trust God, as well as how we should think about our attitudes, and practical steps that are useful.

Clearly we should pray for healing.  That's a given.  It may come quickly or slowly, or maybe not at all.  That is His will.

If we are able to look beyond what is wrong with us at the moment (compared to what Job suffered, most of what we consider 'problems' pale in comparison), we will find there is still much to be thankful for.  And then we start to count our blessings and continue to give thanks.   We may start to see how blessed we are compared to other people - though I sometimes have problems with that approach.  Should we just be thankful that we are not as worse off as someone else?  Job then becomes like sort of a universal benchmark.

No, I think we can be grateful and thankful just for what we have.  Health for instance, even if that sounds counter-intuitive.  A minor back injury is nothing when I have the rest of my health.  Being apart from you guys is nothing as long as we are still able to keep in touch.  You are my blessings, and the picture above is one of the earliest of us together.

I also remember a time when I forgot how blessed I had been in my career, and was upset for quite a period when I felt I was passed over for a promotion for a couple of years.  (And for a medal.  I still don't have one but it does not bother me anymore.  Really.)  I am still just a Business graduate without an honours degree.  Not an outstanding student at all.  But I had so many opportunities and experiences that I had never expected when I first joined the service.  I was just happy to have a job that I liked.

I will always be grateful for the travelling to interesting places for work, doing a post-graduate program at LSE, getting a chance to work in so many different places and having wonderful experiences, making new friends in these places and most of all, being able to put all this to good use in helping people, which had been my primary motivation in joining the police.  But when I focused on my unhappiness, it was difficult to remember all these blessings.

Maybe I was rightfully passed over, maybe not, though obviously it was difficult to see the first perspective at the time.  But it came slowly over time.  What did help was to realise that even if I had been passed over, there was still a lot to be thankful for.  I had had a remarkable career (by my own yardstick, not being boastful here) and if you had told me I'd be where I am today, I would not believe you.  

But the point I am trying to make is not the trite comment that I was better off than I had ever expected,  so I should not have felt disappointed.  That's not helpful under the best of circumstances.  And disappointment is not a 'bad' emotion.  It's only bad if you feel disappointed for the wrong reasons.  Most times it can in fact spur you to try harder, or come to the realisation that maybe you have given it your best, and that is good enough.

The point for me is to trust God and His timing. Setbacks are not final unless we let them be. Good things that have happened since that period of disappointment, may not have happened if things had gone my way then.  Maybe bad things would have happened too - hubris, arrogance and drifting away from God.  We just need to keep the faith.