Solitude

I've never spent so much time alone since I was a boy.

Well that's not totally accurate.  My parents didn't leave me self-isolating for weeks on end - not really heh.   And I couldn't have been alone because of Uncle Kum Leong who is just a year younger (Uncle Kum Mun came along a bit later). But I didn't really know how to communicate with him and I was left pretty much to my own devices most of the time.

I have no real recollection of my childhood before going to school.  I only heard that when I was very young, we lived with some aunts and uncles on my father's side (opposite where ICA is today) and didn't really get along.  We also lived for a short while with my maternal grandmother in Commonwealth (those flats on top of the hill - it had a beautiful view) before we got our own place at Lengkok Bahru (near Redhill).  It was a small flat I think - I don't remember it at all.

In those days, I think that area was a rough neighbourhood and perhaps my parents didn't want me to get into bad company because I don't recall much time spent outdoors, except for a vague memory of trying to fly a kite.  It didn't go well.  I was the Charlie Brown of the hood - you know his kite would always end up in the tree right?  That probably also explains our unsuccessful attempts at flying one when you were kids.  Sort of runs in the family.  Uncle Kum Mun flunked out of the RSAF because he couldn't land the plane.  I told him not to worry - he would get a call if we ever needed kamikaze pilots...

You might ask "what is this picture about?"  Well, I find increasingly that there are a lot of wonderful serendipitous moments in life.  After I wrote the bit about kite flying, the same day I caught this movie by one of my current favourite directors Horikazu Kore-eda.  There's a story about kite flying in this wonderful movie about parental love)

I learned how to occupy myself and am eternally grateful that my parents valued education, and the most valuable gift my father ever gave me (apart from learning his values of respect and integrity) was a set of encyclopedia called "The New Book of Knowledge" which I almost read cover to cover.  And when I was not reading, I would be drawing.  For some reason, World War 2 caught my imagination (maybe it was the encyclopedia as it was American-centric) and most of the time I would draw soldiers, tanks, battle scenes etc.  I was not very good (not like these guys who did the art for The Liberator on Netflix. It's uncanny - I was just watching this.)

So my developmental years were spent mostly in solitude which I got used to.  And I suppose prepared me for what I am going through now.  I can deal with it, but I don't enjoy it because I miss you all.  I find myself looking through old photos and reliving a lot of great memories and I realise we have not shared them enough.  And I suppose like me, your memories of your childhood might not be very good but I can do something about it.

Stay tuned.